[Strömberg]: Call to Ukraine

[Connor]

Security Classification: CONFIDENTIAL
Document Classification and Security Act 1995​

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A telephone call is made to the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice by Einar Åkesson, Regional Manager for Europe of Strömberg International Legal Consultants.
This telephone call is made in line with the Swedish Document Classification and Security Act 1995, which also covers telephonic communication, causing a 'CONFIDENTIAL' encryption level to be appended.

GingeOrCringe Alex

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Strömberg International Legal Consultants and Strömberg Debt Collection Solutions are trading names of Strömberg.
All promotions, goods and services are subject to bespoke negotiation and may not accurately reflect final pricing.
95487526-8728 | Swedish Company Registration Office
72092582 | Dutch Business Registry of the Chamber of Commerce​

 

[GingeOrCringe]

The call would first go through to a secretary, Hanna Sayenko. Due to the nature of the calls received at the Ministry of Justice, the line was encrypted and private.

She rolled her eyes and sighed before picking up the phone. Didn't these people know she was in the middle of painting her nails? "Ministry of Justice, this is Hanna speaking. How may I help you?" She asked in her best customer service voice.

Connor

 

[Connor]

"Hanna, pleasure to speak to you, I'm calling from Strömberg International Legal Consultants - is there someone available to discuss a bilateral legal dispute... at state-level please?"

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

"We have several qualified people. May I have a little more information on the type of dispute this is? Arms agreements, environmental, human rights, immigration, international crime, maritime..." She started running through the list. They had one typed up and printed out but she could recite it from memory at this point.

Connor

 

[Connor]

"I am limited as to how much I can discuss due to data protection measures. The legal challenge is regarding a military contract."

Einar rolls her eyes, having been experienced in the correspondence between states she was well versed with the stalling measures and Ukraine was no different - they clearly weren't going to make this easy, but Einar was more than willing to painstakingly watch the turtle chase the hare.

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

"Oh, of course ma'am. I just needed to know in order to transfer you to the proper legal team. It wouldn't be very helpful if I sent you to international environmental law or immigration, now would it? I'll put you through right away!" Her voice was exceedingly cheerful as she rolled her eyes again. She had spent six months working at the Ministry of Justice and every lawyer who called in had the same sense of importance, as if they were prosecuting John Demjanjuk or someone.

Lidiya Vovka, esq., would pick up the phone on the second ring. "This is Lidiya Vovka, attorney at law. With whom am I speaking?" The line, like her secretary's, was private and encrypted.

Connor

 

[Connor]

"Haha, that's so true!" she laughs, blatantly sarcastically and growing increasingly tired of the brick-walled personality of the call taker.

"My name is Einar Åkesson, Regional Manager for Europe of Strömberg International Legal Consultants... I am calling you regarding Canada, are you aware of this situation?"

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

"Hello, yes, all too aware I'm afraid. The shooting was most unfortunate and, this is my personal opinion not the ministry's, but I'm concerned about their civil and human rights given the turn their parliament has recently taken. However, I'm afraid I don't understand how this relates to Ukraine or our Ministry of Justice?"

Connor

 

[Connor]

Einar flicks through her paperwork, utterly baffled by the Ukrainian response to her telephone call from start to finish, perhaps they're all in crisis? perhaps they're all abusing substances?

"I am referring to an arrangement between yourselves and the Canadian government in which you received payment, in full, for military assets which the Canadian government has failed to receive. I am calling you off-the-record to resolve this because, and I'll be honest with you, the Canadian government are seeking resolution via the courts which will be a very costly affair for your government"

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

Lidiya had fallen asleep in the sun once while on holiday in Odesa. Her face had burned a comparable shade of red to what it was now. No one had informed her of any deals with Canada. What exactly was going on? When had this all occurred?

“We’ve received no papers from the Canadian government, no summons from the ICJ,” she said cautiously. “You say Canada wants to pursue a case in court but that you are calling off the record. Are they aware of your contact with us, and what exactly are you proposing?”

She quickly wrote down a note and, stretching the chord on her phone as far as it would reach, stuck it to the glass on her office door. Contact ministry of finance about defense sales to Canada. They’re angry. Make sure u get everything. She tapped on the glass as one of the paralegals walked by to get their attention.

Connor

 

[Connor]

"You may not have, whomever is responsible for the sale will be fully aware. You have not yet been summoned to the ICJ - allow me to explain our role in this. We are a private Swedish legal firm, in fact we are the only international legal consultants on the globe and have an incredibly success rate with some of the largest organisations in the defence industry. Breach of contractual obligations, especially when you can proven as 'twisting the truth' can be extremely costly in the International Courts of Justice and as such could result in substantial financial ramifications."

"I have contacted you privately to resolve this without a legal battle in the courts, which I am sure you would be glad to avoid, we can come to an agreement over the phone that will be much less costly for you."

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

“Can you tell me who is responsible for the alleged sale? As I said, my department has not yet been informed of any issues. I assume this is a recent development. ...And what exactly are you suggesting as an agreement?”

Connor

 

[Connor]

"Yes, I have a name for you... um..." she says, quickly flicking through the paperwork in front of her.
"Minister Konstyantyn Gryshchenko...- I need to speak to someone with the authority to resolve this, I am limited with how much I can disclose to a receptionist."

GingeOrCringe

 

[Connor]

GingeOrCringe

 

[GingeOrCringe]

She would remain professional and in a calm, even tone inform Ms Åkesson "Yes, I understand that. As I said earlier, this is Lidiya Vovka, attorney at law speaking. I'm going to place you on hold for a brief moment." Vovka would step out the door and call after the paralegal who had read her sticky note and instruct him to place a call to Minister Gryshchenko. In the mean time, Vovka would return to her desk and pick up the phone again.

If Ms Åkesson was still one the line she would be direct with her. "So, you are suggesting a settlement? What would it entail?"

Connor

 

[Connor]

Einar smiles "My apologies, Lidiya Vovka, attorney at law, perhaps you can put me through to someone with some..." she pauses, desperately trying not to say the words 'brain cells' and takes the time to collect herself "...knowledge of this situation?". Never before had Einar wished she'd just gone straight to the International Court of Justice and now finds herself wishing she could be churned up in the Ukrainian production line, once she manages to get it running again that is.

"In all honestly 'Lidiya Vodka, attorney at law' the deal is simple - my client should see substantial monetary compensation for the breach of contract and that will avoid the undoubted lengthy legal case."

GingeOrCringe