- Jan 12, 2023
- 151
It was the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Thursday August 15th 2002), and Monsignor Alan Conrad the rector of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception was dressed in his finest Marian Vestments, which he had commissioned and modeled after the vestments worn by Archbishop Fulton Sheen. He had a special honour that day to read out a short Ecclesiastical Letter from Pope Hadrian VII, the first one the new pontiff had chosen to send out. And it was going to bestow a special honor on the United States, one that he hoped several of his parishioners would take to heart.
The mass was formal as always for Monsignor Conrad always went out of his way to make every Marian feast as special as possible. When it came time for his sermon he mounted the marble pulpit and adjusted his microphone taking a moment to see the faces of some well known and important public figures. In specific he caught the eye of the Vice President of the United States as he knew that the upcoming message was from someone the man new personally, and gave the VP a conspiratorial smile.
“Welcome all of you to the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I will be departing from my normal sermon style,” The was an audible groan from the parishioners, as Monsignor Conrad was known for the quality of his sermons, that never failed to cause his parishioners to gain new insight. Monsignor Conrad raised his hands to quiet the crowd.
“Worry not my brothers and sisters in Christ, for today I bring you the first Ecclesiastical Letter from our beloved Pontif Hadrian VII.” He began to shuffle some papers before he began.
“Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
We write to all the faithful of the United States today on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. For the Blessed Virgin Mary was the first protector, along with her husband Saint Joseph, of the Christ Child. And We feel given recent events that the Church herself and the Papacy specifically requires new stewardship. As such We are announcing the Formation of the ‘Columbianum Custodibus’ or ‘American Guard’, who like the Swiss Guard will serve as guards of the Holy See. But whereas the Swiss Guard will serve to protect the Vatican City state and any extraterritorial properties. The Columbianum Costodibus will serve as the bodyguards of the Pope and as the Pilots of the 3 newly acquired Papal Helicopters. This will serve to put Our mind at ease, as the Italian Government has been unable to supply Us with transportation as of late, and even now is still in transition.
With that in mind We put out a general call to all men in the United States ages 21 and older who have military experience and have received an Honourable Discharge from their military service. In specific We call upon any of those who have guardsman experience or experience with military helicopters. We would also like to encourage those who have been marginalized by the system, or who are finding it hard to reintegrate into civilian life. If you or anyone you know would benefit or be interested in this type of work, we encourage you to contact your Bishop or the American Patriarch for further information or to be considered. They are all prepared and ready for your interest.
We would also like to extend an Apostolic Blessing and Plenary Indulgence to all who attended mass on this day.”
With that Monsignor Conrad cleared his throat and took a sip of water before continuing,
“Here endeth the letter. I encourage you all to consider the appeal of the Pope, for we all have a duty and responsibility to the Church above all else, and the Supreme Pontiff as her head on earth. After the failings of the Italians, I personally believe it is time that another nation, this great Nation, has the responsibility to stand up and answer the call. For whom else in the world is as strong or as great as the United States? And in specific this Pontiff is one of our own, a Veteran from our Wars, born and raised as an All American! This is our Brother, our Hero, and our Pope!” With that he turned and resumed the mass.
(Odinson)
The mass was formal as always for Monsignor Conrad always went out of his way to make every Marian feast as special as possible. When it came time for his sermon he mounted the marble pulpit and adjusted his microphone taking a moment to see the faces of some well known and important public figures. In specific he caught the eye of the Vice President of the United States as he knew that the upcoming message was from someone the man new personally, and gave the VP a conspiratorial smile.
“Welcome all of you to the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I will be departing from my normal sermon style,” The was an audible groan from the parishioners, as Monsignor Conrad was known for the quality of his sermons, that never failed to cause his parishioners to gain new insight. Monsignor Conrad raised his hands to quiet the crowd.
“Worry not my brothers and sisters in Christ, for today I bring you the first Ecclesiastical Letter from our beloved Pontif Hadrian VII.” He began to shuffle some papers before he began.
“Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
We write to all the faithful of the United States today on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. For the Blessed Virgin Mary was the first protector, along with her husband Saint Joseph, of the Christ Child. And We feel given recent events that the Church herself and the Papacy specifically requires new stewardship. As such We are announcing the Formation of the ‘Columbianum Custodibus’ or ‘American Guard’, who like the Swiss Guard will serve as guards of the Holy See. But whereas the Swiss Guard will serve to protect the Vatican City state and any extraterritorial properties. The Columbianum Costodibus will serve as the bodyguards of the Pope and as the Pilots of the 3 newly acquired Papal Helicopters. This will serve to put Our mind at ease, as the Italian Government has been unable to supply Us with transportation as of late, and even now is still in transition.
With that in mind We put out a general call to all men in the United States ages 21 and older who have military experience and have received an Honourable Discharge from their military service. In specific We call upon any of those who have guardsman experience or experience with military helicopters. We would also like to encourage those who have been marginalized by the system, or who are finding it hard to reintegrate into civilian life. If you or anyone you know would benefit or be interested in this type of work, we encourage you to contact your Bishop or the American Patriarch for further information or to be considered. They are all prepared and ready for your interest.
We would also like to extend an Apostolic Blessing and Plenary Indulgence to all who attended mass on this day.”
With that Monsignor Conrad cleared his throat and took a sip of water before continuing,
“Here endeth the letter. I encourage you all to consider the appeal of the Pope, for we all have a duty and responsibility to the Church above all else, and the Supreme Pontiff as her head on earth. After the failings of the Italians, I personally believe it is time that another nation, this great Nation, has the responsibility to stand up and answer the call. For whom else in the world is as strong or as great as the United States? And in specific this Pontiff is one of our own, a Veteran from our Wars, born and raised as an All American! This is our Brother, our Hero, and our Pope!” With that he turned and resumed the mass.
(Odinson)
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