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Habemus Papem!

Ender

The Holy See
GA Member
Jan 12, 2023
151
It had started to rain in Rome, but despite the rain the Square was packed with even more faithful and media then there had been a the funeral. After 6 failed ballots the world was intrigued who amongst the preferiti was chosen as their new Pope. The media was intrigued even more so when the Swiss Guard came out in force to force the crowd back to make a cordoned off area at the front of the square under the balcony. The Cameras focused on the square as the Cardinals were ushered out in the rain and left in the cleared area. After a few more minutes the doors to the balcony opened and some umbrellas were brought out and the Protodecon of the College of Cardinals made the announcement.

“Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum; Habemus Papam!: Reverendissimum, Navarch Eduardus Carmelus, qui sibi nomen imposuit Hadrianus VII. (I announce to you with great joy; we have a Pope!: The reverend,
Commodore Edward Carmichael. Who has taken the name Hadrian the Seventh!).” Quickly the media and the people would notice that this differed from the standard script for this announcement, the media scrambling to find out who this Edward Carmichael was, and why he wasn’t a Cardinal.

Hadrian VII walked boldly out into the rain in his Papal regalia and waved away the umbrellas, instantly ruining his fine silks and damasks. He then stepped up onto the dais and made the Urbi et Orbi blessing. But once he was finished he did not retreat into the Bassilica as was the norm. He waited a moment for the crowd to go quiet before he spoke up in English.

“Brothers & Sisters, we ascend to the the Throne of Peter, at a time in which the Church is in an unprecedented time of crisis. During the long and stagnating reign of the Pole, who admirably reconciled the Church to the World, the Church herself fractured and splintered. Fracturing into sub faiths, this must not be allowed to stand. But first and foremost in the minds of Catholics and Non-Catholics alike is not our fractious family, it’s our abhorrent treatment of those most vulnerable within our care. We assure you that this will not continue during Our Pontificate. We remind the leaders of the world of the old treaties and agreements, the Pristhood of the Catholic Faith is above the Laws of Man. But it is not above the Laws of God, as such it falls to Us as the head of the Church here on Earth to enforce those Laws for the good of the faithful and non-faithful alike. We shall not stand idly by as predators hide behind the collar and exploit our future. To prove Our dedication to this, the first to be punished for his crimes shall be Jack Cardinal Daniels!” Hadrian announced in a condemnatory voice that echoed across the world like the very thunder of God. The Swiss Guard in the square quickly seized Cardinal Daniels and brought him to the steps of the Basilica.

“Cardinal Daniels, We know of your hidden sins and crimes, because We stood up to you and refused your unholy advances. We also know that We were not the only ones to fall under your sinful sway. As such as you are under Our full Jurisdiction as granted by the Lord God, and your vows of obedience. We hereby strip you of all titles and privileges of the priesthood, and indeed of citizenship. We also place upon you a Perfect and Complete Excommunication, as well any person who aides you shall also incur the same Perfect and Complete Excommunication immediately. As such you are put outside the church. Let Us remind you that all you own, due to your Vow of Poverty, is the property of the Church and not yours. As such We hereby seize all your assets, to set up a fund to pay out the Victims of your privations.” Hadrian announced, as he did so the Swiss Guard took out their knives and stripped the Cassock and indeed all garments from the no longer Cardinal. They were not gentle about it and when they were done they left the old man slightly bleeding and completely naked in Saint Peter’s Square.

“Go now from this place, and know you are outside the Church and all her Protections from now until Judgement.” When the ex-Cardinal didn’t move the Swiss Guard rousted him as if he were a mere street vagrant and escorted him from the square leaving him in the streets to his own devices.

“Furthermore We shall be reinstituting the powers of the Holy Office of the Inquisition, and task Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger with heading her as Grand Inquisitor, with the mandate of routing out this cancer from within Mother Church. He is to institute a High Inquisitor in each diocese to aid him in this task. The Inquisitors shall have no jurisdiction outside the church, but shall have full dominion to administer justice within it. We promise you all that this shall be dealt with harshly, and far more severely than the Mortal Law allows. These sinners shall not simply receive slaps on the wrist and be sent on their way to another parish to be allowed to continue their unholy work. No, they shall be moved to the most remote, obscure, and neglected monasteries, where they shall be tasked for the rest of their life to labor in the service of God to restore these neglected places. And in so doing make amends, though small and unworthy, for their crimes. Never again shall they be allowed their freedom.” At that Pope Hadrian VII left the balcony and the public in stunned silence. The cameras that panned over the Cardinals could see that some held a look of fear, and others righteousness.

Pope Hadrian VII
 

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