- May 4, 2021
- 3,456
| To: <His Majesty King Stanislaus Grabowski of the Kingdom of Poland> ManBear From: <The Golden Hand> Subject: Request For Capitalist Assistance Security Type: Secret and Encrypted |
Your Majesty,
The continued socialist construction in the Socialist Republic of Thailand stands as a direct existential threat to democracies and monarchies worldwide. This country’s confederal government, despite its radical decentralization, is accountable to the foolish Thai populace, who seem to export their pitiful revolution across the globe. Surely, Your Majesty understands the necessity of cleansing such an idiotic demography.
Normally, the People’s Square at the National Assembly serves as a daily political rally platform for this nation’s clowns. However, within weeks, a larger crowd will appear as they discuss how to advance proletarian internationalism globally. The Kingdom of Poland, as a developed and influential capitalist state, must now allow that to happen. In a worst-case scenario, local buffoons might even suggest exporting their revolution to your country to their confederal coordinators.
The Golden Hand is in an ideal position to ensure Poland’s Monarchy continued stability and security from Thailand’s Marxist aggression. Our counter-revolutionary movement has access to military-grade equipment but lacks explosive devices. TGH could easily launch another massacre of these people who are supposed to be slaves under a genuinely capitalist system. We are professional freedom fighters who have killed many idiots in the past because they thoughtlessly believed that their insignificant brain capacity could allow democratic living. Ha! As if their corrected, yet overthrown, lives under capitalism are compatible with democracy! Surely, Your Majesty, as a proponent of capitalism, you disdain democracy like us.
Our movement places a great hope in the Kingdom of Poland to finally subjugate the Socialist Republic of Thailand and stop their communist expansion so privileged and righteous individuals like us and your nobility can live comfortably. We will be waiting for your answer. Whether there is assistance or not, the fools of Thailand must be burned alive.
Normally, the People’s Square at the National Assembly serves as a daily political rally platform for this nation’s clowns. However, within weeks, a larger crowd will appear as they discuss how to advance proletarian internationalism globally. The Kingdom of Poland, as a developed and influential capitalist state, must now allow that to happen. In a worst-case scenario, local buffoons might even suggest exporting their revolution to your country to their confederal coordinators.
The Golden Hand is in an ideal position to ensure Poland’s Monarchy continued stability and security from Thailand’s Marxist aggression. Our counter-revolutionary movement has access to military-grade equipment but lacks explosive devices. TGH could easily launch another massacre of these people who are supposed to be slaves under a genuinely capitalist system. We are professional freedom fighters who have killed many idiots in the past because they thoughtlessly believed that their insignificant brain capacity could allow democratic living. Ha! As if their corrected, yet overthrown, lives under capitalism are compatible with democracy! Surely, Your Majesty, as a proponent of capitalism, you disdain democracy like us.
Our movement places a great hope in the Kingdom of Poland to finally subjugate the Socialist Republic of Thailand and stop their communist expansion so privileged and righteous individuals like us and your nobility can live comfortably. We will be waiting for your answer. Whether there is assistance or not, the fools of Thailand must be burned alive.
Yours in Capitalism,
Free People
The Golden Hand
Market Republic of Thailand
Thailand Electronic Mail Service
