[Zimbabwe] Declarations Of War

[J.Hyde]

Ministry of Foreign Affairs The Republic of Zimbabwe (SECURE/ENCRYPTED/PRIVATE)​

To: Dr. Carmen Lawrence, Australian Minister Of Foreign Affairs Owen Kristopher Reensma, Belgian Minister Of Foreign Affairs Flying Damascas Pedro Santana Galego, Brazilian Minister Of Foreign Affairs JakeDorent Claude Desjardins, Grand Chancliere De France Logan From: Isaak Stanislaus Gorerazvo Mudenge, Zimbabwean Minister of Foreign Affairs Subject: Declaration Of War To whom it may concern, After much consideration, and due to the unprovoked acts of aggression perpetrated by you, it has been decided by The Republic of Zimbabwe that we can no longer consider peace as a viable option. As such, this message is to be considered a formal declaration of war between your nation, and The Republic of Zimbabwe. Your diplomatic envoys and missions are considered persona non-grata, and the individuals working there are to be detained and interned as foreign nationals likely to engage in acts of war as illegal combatants against Zimbabwe. We have been as patient as a saint, but even saints have their limits. As a result, we are prepared to accept only complete and total unconditional surrender as the price for ceasing hostilities, due to the grave nature of your trespasses against our sovereignty and national security. Isaak Stanislaus Gorerazvo Mudenge, Zimbabwean Minister of Foreign Affairs

 

[Owen]

The Minister would simply laugh, throwing the letter into her bin.

 

[Flying Damascas]

On national television, King Albert II would read the declaration aloud:

"To whom it may concern,

After much consideration, and due to the unprovoked acts of aggression perpetrated by you, it has been decided by The Republic of Zimbabwe that we can no longer consider peace as a viable option. As such, this message is to be considered a formal declaration of war between your nation, and The Republic of Zimbabwe. Your diplomatic envoys and missions are considered persona non-grata, and the individuals working there are to be detained and interned as foreign nationals likely to engage in acts of war as illegal combatants against Zimbabwe.

We have been as patient as a saint, but even saints have their limits. As a result, we are prepared to accept only complete and total unconditional surrender as the price for ceasing hostilities, due to the grave nature of your trespasses against our sovereignty and national security."

Upon finishing he would grab a bic lighter and would smile:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I commend the Government of Zimbabwe for their efforts to scare us into submission but alas this is what I think about their declaration!" He then set the declaration ablaze to the sound of clapping and cheering Belgians.